“Well, Look at Me Now!”

When it comes to abuse stories, people typically want to hear the victim to make it out alive and, if possible by any means, to come out on top of the situation, conquering their tormentors. It is a very human thing to expect and look for, because we all do tend to want the best for the person who has been hurt so many times. At its basis, this sentiment is one of compassion and empathy: you want to see the underdog win, to make up for all the terror they’ve been through in the past. 

But what happens when an outcome like that is not possible for the victim? What happens to their story?

It gets buried under all of those countless other stories of victims who “didn’t make it on top”. Because statistically speaking, there are a lot more cases of the abuse that the victim has gone through ends up consuming them wholly, than those of victory and rising from the ashes of the Phoenix. But does that mean that we shouldn’t pay attention to the stories of those more unfortunate than others? How do YOU feel about that question personally?

This might just be an assumption, but I would dare to say that a good chunk of us human beings feel that no, it absolutely does NOT mean that we shouldn’t pay mind to those who have lost their battles to abuse and trauma, or those who are still fighting on the fields. It is the human empathy that makes us feel guilt for the thought of not listening to those who really needed it the most. But, at the same time, we give the most attention to the stories of victorious hurrahs and “I told you so”s.

talk show.

Why is that? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for years by now. And at this point, I feel like I have finally come to some kind of a conclusion.

It’s not that we don’t care about victims whose lives have been destroyed by the abuse they’ve gone through (obviously, there are exceptions to this, but let’s operate on the basis that people can actually be good and not all of them are pure evil). It’s just that if we have personally not experienced something that has left us traumatized and mentally ill, stories of such tragedies can get, simply put,

TOO REAL.

People don’t know how to react to stories of severe abuse and trauma, it makes them uncomfortable. Because it is just so much easier to listen to a victim talk about how after all the abuse they’d had to endure, they’re now making it big as a creative, their career is finally taking off properly, and their abusers are known to be struggling really badly in their personal lives while the Victim stands tall and proud, finally able to look down on those who looked on them in high school. You can look at them and cheer alongside them, be proud of what they have achieved after everything terrible that’s happened to them.

But the Kid who is still struggling, who is still hurting, not able to make anything out of themselves because of how sick they are due to what happened to them in the past… You feel helpless, like you can’t do anything to make it all better. So you turn your head away from them, hoping that someone else might stop and pick the Kid up and listen to them, redirecting your attention to the glowing image of the one who has been able to overcome their demons and is now shining brightly in their yellow gown on your living room TV.

But let me tell you a secret. Every single one of the people who see the Kid laying down on the soggy and muddy ground feels exactly the same way you do, and they all hope that the next person arriving will pick them up and do something. But that person will never come, because we are all willing to sacrifice this poor Kid for an ounce of relief we get at the wake of the Victim who is no longer hurting but thriving. 

And I have to ask, 

is it all worth it in the end to you?

Switching channels,

ichigonya