I have a very complicated relationship with gender, particularly gender expression. In my adult years, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and analyzing myself in all kinds of ways, many different facets of my being, gender being one of them. When I was growing up, I was not given the chance to really sit and think about why I wanted to present myself in one way; I didn’t have the time and space to question such things about myself, when my brain was far too occupied with dissociation and just making it through another day. So, like with every other aspect of my selfhood and personality, I am just now able to really make sense of the kind of person I truly am, what the concept of gender means to me.