Funny Proportions And Ringing Ears
Your mind sometimes plays tricks on you. You see or hear things that aren't really there, and it can really freak you out at first. To a certain extent, sensory hallucinations are normal, because the human brain is so complex that we still don't fully understand its functionalities. Sometimes our brains just make us sense things that aren't real, and there's nothing more to it.
When this becomes a frequent occurrence, though, you should worry about it a little.
distortion.
Dissociation is a very complex and nuanced state of being for the brain, a different variation of altered perception of reality than psychosis. Similar to psychosis, however, dissociation can also make you hallucinate things that are not real or see reality in a distorted perspective.
I think it was about three years ago when I first started experiencing dissociative hallucinations. At first, they scared the ever-loving shit out of me, because before that I had not had experiences with sensory hallucinations whatsoever. It took a good year or so to finally figure out that it was dissociation that was causing these problems to me. It was at that point when I realized that there was so much more stuff going on with my brain than what I was aware of, and that I desperately needed to figure it all out. I started reading about auditory and visual hallucinations caused by dissociation, and it all made sense to me right away.
"Holy shit, why is my hand so fucking huge?"
My most common hallucination is my hands growing double in size. My hands are actually very small, I think only my girlfriend's hands are smaller than mine out of all the people in my life. But sometimes I look at my hands and they look as big as my father's huge Dad Hands. I just sit there staring at my hands because they are way too big than they're supposed to be, and I'm utterly confused by them.
tinnitus.
Visual dissociative hallucinations are commonly distortions in perspective, for example the proportions of your own body or the relative distances in your surrounding environment. Sometimes the world around me looks 2D to me, as if I'm living in an anime I'd just finished watching. When this happens, I can trip very easily as I can't really figure out depths and distances. When I'm in a very bad dissociation episode, I tend to stay indoors because the distortions in reality can be so severe that leaving my home could potentially become dangerous.
Think of the feeling of being under the influence of alcohol. Then accompany that with near-sightedness and lack of any eyewear. That is pretty much how dissociative distortions make me feel.
A wave of air pressure penetrates my head from the left ear, deafening me for a second, until the air is then released on the other side of my head, exiting from my right ear. I feel like I'm about to faint.
"Why are my ears ringing suddenly?"
By far the strangest dissociation symptom for me is waves of air pressure whooshing through my head, and the tinnitus that comes after. I still don't know why this happens, but I have successfully figured out the cause. Dissociation makes my ears ring constantly, I've been dealing with regular tinnitus for years because of it. More than anything, every time this happens it just baffles me more each time. Why does my head feel like it's about to explode due to air pressure because other people abused me when I was a kid? I would love to know the answer to that question.
Typing with normal-sized hands,
ichigonya
